A survey of sexual fantasies

One third of all men and women surveyed by Justin Lehmiller for his book, Tell Me What You Want, reported fantasizing about trading bodies with a member of the opposite sex. I found the number surprisingly high. I had often imagined the number much lower. And yet, thinking about how many mainstream movies and television shows and books and comic books have explored the body swapping theme, I suppose I should have imagined it much higher.

Tragically, there wasn’t any more depth to this question, and it left me wondering– did they fantasize about trading bodies with specific people– a lover, a crush? A celebrity? Or was it more abstract?

Though I would have liked more depth, I still found the number interesting. It also made me wonder how many people may have still been too embarrassed to admit to this fantasy.

Some other numbers: 25% of all men and women reported fantasizing about cross-dressing. 59% of women and 26% of men who identified as “heterosexual” fantasized about having sex with a member of the same sex. Both men and women fantasized about changing their own gender role, or the gender role of their partner. Men reported fantasies of being feminized, and women reported fantasies of feminizing their male partners and taking the dominant role.

No women reported fantasizing about being masculinized by a partner, but this makes perfect sense to me in that the masculine fantasies they have involve them seizing power and demanding dominance, so it is something they take and do not wait to be given.

As an author and a human being fascinated with gender fluidity, I read the book primarily out of curiosity as well as looking for potential inspiration. I didn’t love the author’s speculation on why people have these fantasies– he suggest that they mostly rise out of insecurity, which may in some cases be true, but I think often people’s personalities are simply more diverse and multi-faceted than the binary constructs of gender allow, and we simply have a multiplicity of needs and interests. Sometimes people need to be dominant; sometimes they long for the pleasure of surrender. Sometimes people who are deeply in love not only long to be near the person they love, but to be the person they love.

Just some musings. I thought my readers might find the numbers interesting, as I did. If you would like to read the book, you can find it on Amazon.

Check out Lehmiller’s website

You Choose the Changes!

You remember those old Choose Your Own Adventure books? Well, Changemont is kind of like that, but with a twist: you choose the changes. Throughout the story, you will get to decide how the character gets feminized. I think it is a really fun story, with a total of over 24,000 words of possibility! Check it out for some awesome fun!

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U and Me on Amazon

Two teen-agers, a jock and a nerd, switch bodies. So goes the plot summary of U and Me on Amazon Prime. This 1987 gender swap comedy from Asia is particularly interested in gender roles and expectations, and we see both characters suffocating under the expectations of their new genders.

The female in this story has been raised to polite and meek. Once trapped in a male body, the other guys see her as a sissy, and she is subjected to relentless bullying. We also see her suffering extreme discomfort as she finds herself engaging in innapropriate behavior — entering the boys’ bathroom and shower, going to the beach where she is expected to take her shirt off (she doesn’t).

The guy meanwhile finds himself being subjected to the pressures to be a proper young lady. He is urged to watch his language, to be polite. His new mother makes him come shopping with her, telling him he needs to learn how to shop because he is a woman. In the movie’s best scene, he makes a speech in front of the school on how unfair life is for girls, where they are forced to always be polite and lady-like while boys can do “whatever they want.”

It’s a fun and interesting film that also has some of the usual beats– they guy realizing he has boobs he can play with, having his first period. For a time, he settles into his life as a girl, but both of the characters eventually come to feel they can’t live as the opposite sex. It’s well worth the watch. Check it out!

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Watch the Film

The Man with the Pretty Face

Illustration: Cade Morehouse in the hospital

seeing his new face for the first time.

For several years, I have toyed with the idea for a story where a straight man finds himself with a woman’s face. The idea was that he would otherwise be largely unchanged, but he would have the delicate features of a very beautiful and feminine woman.

How would the world react to him? Would he be able to stay the same man as always? Or would his face reshape his identity?

I went just a little further when I wrote this story- he also has a woman’s voice, but the question remains the same: what would life be like for a man who looks like a woman?

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My Wife and I: Body Swap with Heart!

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Link to Film

Don’t have Prime?  Try it FREE for 30 days!

Now FREE on Amazon Prime, a new body swap comedy with well-developed characters who delve deep into their relationship issues via a magical body swap. Now, to get right into the TG elements we all love so much– yes, the man in his wife’s body has to experience the things that women go through– make-up, heels, hosting a bachelorette party– and much of this is played as broad comedy. It is fun, and the actors do a great job embodying their roles!

Where the film goes deeper than most broad comedy body swap comedies is in the exploring of the relationships not only between the husband and wife, but their two teen-age children as well. The relationship between the married couple is terrible as the film starts and heading toward divorce, but it isn’t the same old same old. The wife, a successful executive, resents her husband for embracing what she sees as a career of mediocrity while also being the “fun” parent the kids like. She meanwhile is stuck being the major bread winner and the tough Mom. The father, meanwhile, questions whether his wife even loves him and, true to male type, is not a good listener. When they argue, which they do a LOT and LOUD, we see how it impacts their kids. and it is not good.

As they experience life in each other’s bodies, they start to learn about each other, coming to understand not just their partner, but they also learn things about themselves. All of this unfolds gradually and artfully throughout the movie. Again, super well-acted and very moving in certain scenes.

Oh, and back to the TG elements, we do get to see the guy gradually accepting a female role learning to do make-up, helping his daughter deal with feminine issues, and even, spoiler alert– deciding to see what it’s like in the sack! I won’t tell you how that turns out, but this is a good movie worth watching! Oh, and just a as bonus, once he starts getting used to dresses, heels and make-up, the guy is super hot!

Check it out!

If you don’t have Prime, get it for FREE for 30 days!

Black Mirror (spoilers)

Image result for pom klementieff

Pom Klementieff, who plays Karl’s female avatar.

Does role-playing change us, or simply reveal us?

In the recently released episode Striking Vipers, Black Mirror finally plunges into the murky world of online gender cross playing– and I do mean finally! In this episode, two college buddies enjoy playing a video fighting game much like Mortal Combat. They each have a favorite character. Danny always plays Lance, while his friend, Karl, prefers to play a female character named Roxette. Neither finds this problematic.

Until a fully immersive version of the game becomes available. In this new version, the players find themselves inhabiting the bodies of the characters they play– and even experience the physical sensations. Jumping into the game, Danny once more plays Lance, and Karl, Roxette. Karl jokes about what its like to have boobs, and the two start fighting. Soon, the sexual tension simmering beneath their play- fighting turns to making out, and eventually hot, steamy sex.

The show explores how this impacts them and their relationships, both with each other and their wives/lovers. They question whether they are really cheating, wonder if they are gay. Danny, in particular, struggles, as he is a married man with kids. His suburban life bores him. Is he living a lie?

Each man discovers he is more fluid than he imagined, but that their sexual attraction exists only online– at least the physical side. Karl rhapsodizes about how much he enjoys the female orgasm, but he can’t get that in real life. Meanwhile, it is interesting to me that Danny’s wife is named Theo, drawing the gender fluidity out further. I don’t want to give away the specific ending, but once the men have opened up Pandora’s Box, let’s just say there in no going back. I feel what the show suggests it is not so much that the online gender bending changes them, but simply allows them to express a part of themselves that was always repressed.

Most people, in my opinion, are many genders, but society works very hard to make us comform to a specific notion of biological gender. This episode there is a little girl and guy in everyone just waiting for a chance to get out.

Check it out on Netflix!

Just Released: FREEDOM

Blurb:

Bradley has always felt like a girl, but his whole life he’s suffered in fear, hiding his true self. What would his Dad say if he found out? His Mom? And, he’s sure all the other kids at school would laugh at him. But the girl inside Bradley longs to be free, and over the years she is determined to free both herself and Bradley from living a lie.

As some of you know, I have had the pleasure of creating several stories on commission from a wonderful person who prefers to be known only as Anonymous. Each of these stories has been a joy to write. I feel Freedom is the most special of all these commissions. Please check out a free sample at the links below:

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