MY NAME IS JAMES ELKES. I KNOW WHO I AM.
THIS ISN’T MY FACE. THIS ISN’T MY BODY.
I have finished the scripts for Season One of my web series, and I am now going back and revising. This moves me closer to the search for an actor, and since I want to share it all with everyone as I progress, I have to admit that I woke up this morning with one clear thought in my head: the web series and Patreon are terrible ideas.
What was I thinking announcing this stuff? As if anyone would even care. Who am I to think I’ll get any supporters? Or that I will find an actor? Or that my series will be anything but a tragic act of vanity?
And yet, the thought of NOT doing it feels like such a cop out. The only thing stopping me is fear. Or potentially stopping me. And the fear is that this will fail. I won’t get any supporters. I won’t get any viewers. The actor will hate me for setting them up to be in an unsuccessful project. On and on, the fears ran through my mind all morning.
So, what now? For now, I work on the scripts. I get them ready, make them as good as i can make them. I work. Maybe I will lose my nerve never find an actor. Maybe I will never move beyond the script phase.
Or, maybe, knowing full well the whole thing could be a huge disaster, I will just do it anyway. We’ll see. Today, I am working on the scripts. Tomorrow will be tomorrow.